Shhh...

I am not a fan of drop-ins.  There, I said it.  (Honestly, who is?)  As ornery as that might sound, it’s the truth. 
I’m only ever presentable when I know I’m going out, or when I’m expecting company.  And if I’m not presentable, I really doubt my house is presentable, either.  Don’t get me wrong… I love having people over, but not when I’ve been battling projectile vomit all day and haven’t had a chance to shower yet. 
I’ve also noticed that when you’re expecting someone, they typically knock… no doorbell.  But, if they’re dropping by unannounced, the doorbell is used almost every single time.  Ringing my doorbell during naptime is a death wish, especially if you’re trying to sell me something.  (And if you are trying to sell me something, I hope you’re really cute and less than 5 feet tall… because I’ll probably buy it.  I’m a sucker that way.)
You wake up my kid, and you’ve robbed me of my only free time for the day.
After a naptime that lasted only 30 minutes one day, thanks to an unexpected ring of the doorbell, I decided that it was time to post a sign.
This sign is nothing fancy, no big deal.  But when you’re talking about precious moments kid-free that save your sanity (aka naptime), just the idea of it can be exciting!  (BTW, I almost added: “By Appointment Only” to the sign, but thought that would be too un-neighborly of me.  ;)
I’ve had my sign up for just a couple of days.  So far:

• UPS driver didn’t even bother to ding dong ditch.  Just left the package on the doorstep, thank you very much.
• Pizza delivery man lightly knocked, and apologized if he had woken the baby (it was 6:30pm).
• Teenage hooligan (I’m old enough to use that word, right?) held down the doorbell at 8:00pm.  Wanted to sell me some nasty looking chocolate bars to help keep kids like himself off the street.  Was texting the entire time he was talking to me.  I asked him if he had noticed the sign about “No Soliciting”.  He told me he couldn’t read, and he was still texting.

The original images are sized at 4” x 3.5”, and available in a variety of colors, as usual.  Laminate it, mod-podge it, tape it inside a window or directly over the doorbell – whatever works for your front door. 
To download the file(s) of your choice, click on the collage image above and you’ll be directed to their 4shared locations.


*** UPDATED 06/26/12 ***
New download location for these images is here.  


Hope this makes your naptimes a little longer and quieter!

Blaaahgs

Plain and simple, I read too many blogs.  In my defense, they give me inspiration.  My Google Reader is nearly always full, and I’m rarely, if ever, caught up.  I guess I can honestly say it’s both a hobby… and a vice.

Lately, it seems that many of the blogs I truly love are changing.  I understand changing, and wanting to take things in new directions online.  However,… 

It drives me CrAzY when…

Blogs do compensated product reviews.  As if they’re actually going to say anything negative.  If they did, they wouldn’t keep getting free stuff.  I’m not jealous, it’s just nothing I have time for…  to do myself or to read about others doing it.  If I’m interested in a product, I’ll Google it when I’m ready to learn about it, and find your glowing review then.  (And, I just removed you from my Reader.)

Blogs sell out.  I understand that blogging has become a source of income for many people.  Kudos to you.  But I DVR television for a reason… so I can fast forward through the commercials.  I can’t stand reading “commercials” on your blog, where you ooooh and aaaah over your latest “sponsor” (who just sent you free stuff).  As soon as I see one of those in your feed (where it hasn’t been before), I tend to remove you from my Reader.  I figure if you post something worth reading about in the future, it’s likely going to be regurgitated in some form on a different blog I read.

Blogs turn into Giveaway Central.  There’s nothing wrong with a little giveaway here and there…  but since I’ve basically stopped entering giveaways (because “not winning” gets old, natch), reading your multiple giveaway posts gets a little tired, I can’t keep up, and it makes me remove you from my Reader.

Blogs shorten their post feed on Reader.  I don’t click through all of the shortened posts that pop up in my Reader… only the ones that grab my attention before I rapidly scroll on by.  If you’ve always had a shortened feed, I might still be reading.  But for those blogs who’ve just recently shortened their feed, hoping to drive traffic to their site… buh-bye.  I have to really love you, or know you IRL, to keep reading.

Blogs move all good content to Twitter or Facebook.  I can’t keep up, and honestly 140-characters is lazy blogging.  It’s not the same.

Blogs with great ideas go private.  I understand your reasons for going private… I really do.  Personally, I think there’s a greater chance the axe murderer/pedophile will follow you home from the grocery store.  Unless I know you IRL, I’m not going to ask to be added to your allowed list.  And that makes me sad.  (If I am on your allowed list, check out this great idea.)

You know, I read this list of pet peeves of mine, and I sound like a prima donna…  I’m not.  I don’t have delusions that I’m a “powerful” blogger with a truckload of followers and what I say goes.  Not at all.  I’m simply a big fan of the medium, and many things I find online inspire me in various aspects of my life.  These are just my honest opinions (which I’m entitled to have).  I’ve never been a fan of leaving nasty comments on someone’s blog when they start doing things I don’t like… I just stop reading and move on.  Simple as that.

It’s a two-way street really…  I don’t expect to have readers on my blog.  I’m truly flattered to know that I have some and I value each and every one of you… I do not take you for granted!  Seeing your comments in my inbox makes me really happy and is incredibly validating.  But, I decided a while ago that I’m writing this blog for me (& my family).  It’s my little hobby, and I hope you enjoy it.  So, when I post something here on Sprik Space, it’s because it’s something I want to tell YOU, my friends.  And again, I hope you like it!  :)

"I'm not as crazy as you are..."

Maybe we're going about this baby naming business the wrong way...

"For Pete Wentz and wife Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, the decision to give their son the middle name of Mowgli came down to a simple bear necessity.

"'The Jungle Book was something that me and Ashlee bonded over. It's a cool name,' the father of Bronx Mowgli Wentz, born last week, told Ryan Seacrest on his radio Tuesday."

I thought the whole point was to hope the name you chose might keep your kid from getting beat up on the playground.

Silly me.

That's it... We're naming him Richard.
Everyone will call him "Dick" for short.
That's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?

What has the world come to??

I mean, if Diddy can't afford to fly his PRIVATE jet anymore, we're all done for! I just can't believe he has to fly commercial now... my heart weeps for him. Check out this ridiculous article at CNN.com.

I have a confession to make

Coming out of the closet for this one...

I don't love these books.

I tried to read Twilight, I really did, but I couldn't finish it.

I don't know if it was vampires as the subject matter,
the writing for tweens, or what...

I just didn't like it.

Please don't hate me.

Public Service Announcement

To all pedestrians out there, particularly those in store parking lots:

The shortest distance when walking in front of my car is a straight line... not a diagonal line... not a curvy line. There is no excuse for you as a human being if you choose to walk in the same direction I'm driving... right in front of my car... especially when you saw me there before you started walking. Just because I stopped to allow you to cross in front of me, does not mean I'll be happy if you make me follow you like this for several dozen yards. I will make certain allowances for people with small children or the elderly who are clearly having a hard time walking period. If you look able-bodied to me and you're being stupid, then the sign applies.

Sincerely,
Annoyed beyond belief

Martha got this one wrong

I don't know, Martha.

Call me a party pooper, but this little craft/activity of yours DOES NOT look like a good time for the person who has to clean it all up. Might work well as a practical joke, though.

Wednesday Wishin'

I'm hoping that I never have to see any of these on any car ever again.

You know, when I see them hanging off your F150, Odyssey, or Neon... I'm just figuring you must not have any of your own.

Scare tactics

Southwest is not my favorite airline. They don't have the cheapest fares anymore, and you have to go directly to their website to see their fares anyway (snobs). They don't fly out of O'Hare, only Midway. Their flight attendants are not as funny as they think they are. And finally, I don't like flying like a bunch of cattle - everyone rushing to get in line to get a good seat on the plane (I know they've tried to remedy that situation with their new line system, but there's still too much of the livestock thing happening once you're on board).

Brian flew to Norfolk, VA this week... on Southwest. He took the aisle seat in a row with a guy already in the window seat. As people are filing on board, salivating over where they're going to plop down, the light bulb turned on above Brian's head. He leaned over to his row-mate, and said, "Let's both look BIG and lean into the middle seat." Nobody chose their row to sit in. (Of course this would only work on flights that aren't overbooked, as most Southwest flights are.) Good job, sweetie!

Wednesday Wishin'

Today I wish that one of these:

would move into the neighborhood to take care of these:

Sounds horribly cruel, I know... but we have a serious overpopulation issue over here! Today alone I saw 6 as roadkill on my way out of the subdivision... and they were fresh. I'd much rather see them be part of the food chain, than as speed bumps. I know they look innocent enough, but they do so much damage to the landscaping... there's too many of them now, so they're getting desperate for food and eating the plants they're not supposed to like.

One of these days, I'm afraid Brian's going to think he can teach them a lesson with his BB gun! Because if he shoots at one of them, they're sure to run back and tell the rest of their bunny friends to avoid the Sprik lot. Instead he'll just scare the neighbor kids, and make Redneck think he needs to pull his own rifle off the gun rack to protect his homestead.

Nobody puts Baby in a corner...

Yesterday, I made a quick run to the local library for some more reading materials. The lovely librarians had already pulled my books for me, so it was going to be a fast in and out.

I approached the desk, noticed that management was attempting new methods of order, and saw a sign that pointed to where the line for check-out was to begin. I was the first one waiting when a caveman gentleman with his children in tow approached me and asked if I was waiting in line. (I really don't like obvious questions... Bill Engvall called them stupid.) Not wanting to make a snarky comment, I simply and kindly pointed to the sign above me with a friendly smile on my face. Next thing I hear: "WOMAN, I asked you a question!" (Did I mention, that in my opinion, he appeared to be from this region of the world?) Still smiling, I replied, "I was trying to help you be a little less ignorant," and moved forward to the desk of a grinning librarian.

Someone may argue that it was a cultural norm for him to treat me this way... oppressive, subservient, less than. He was lucky my inner Rosie didn't try to school him on how this country, the one in which he's currently residing, treats women!

"I'm really glad you're taking nutrition seriously."

BREAKING NEWS!
We will all die of something, someday.

I know that may shock you, but you should really try to come to grips with it now. Life is way too short to be constantly consumed with fear and worry. You could spend your whole life avoiding everything you deem dangerous, and then one day, you're in a horrible car accident. Will you have enjoyed your time here on Earth? Everything in moderation, people!

"Never go to excess,
but let moderation be your guide."
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Rocket Science

It probably wouldn't make a huge difference, but wouldn't it be great if every driver in America were quizzed on this simple idea when their license came up for renewal? (As illustrated by the Los Angeles Times - please click to enlarge.)

NEWS FLASH:
Maneuvering through traffic, driving past an accident, and being a conscientious driver really isn't rocket science. Sometimes you have to PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE... or at the very least, use a headset for goodness sakes! As my father's daughter, it bugs me to no end the number of idiots out there that somehow passed their drivers' exams. (I'm not saying that the elderly woman was an "idiot"... she was just confused... and probably shouldn't have been driving anyway. Wait a sec - what elderly woman driver needs to be warned of cops in the vicinity???)

Traffic here in Chicagoland is horrendous! We're so grateful that Brian is able to hop on a commuter train that takes him to his downtown job in 40 minutes, on the days he goes into the office. His commute to the horrible job of the past used to be 100 miles roundtrip and would take over 3 hours daily. So, we definitely love Metra now, especially with gas prices where they are!

I'm trying to make you think I'm a rock star

I don't care how muscular your legs are... or if they're pencil-thin... or if you're going for that unflattering androgynous look. Men/boys should not wear tight pants with spandex (aka SKINNY JEANS) on the street. Period. Blech.

The Altercation

There are so many things about traveling that tend to drive sane people crazy. For me, I can deal with delays just fine, because I always have plenty of entertainment. Bumpy flights don't bother me, because it's a great time to pray! Annoying flight attendants bug, but I know they're only part of my life for a short period of time.

My least favorite part about flying is the other passengers - it doesn't take much to get under my skin. I'm not a huge gabber (thank goodness for iPods), because I can't really hear anyone all that well over the roar of the airplane anyway. But I've decided, that in general, my fellow travelers are completely inconsiderate of those around them. They are the businessman who knocks over the little girl and doesn't even pause while he's hustling to get on the jetway to sit on his butt for hours on the plane; the still-drunk (and quite smelly) dude next to you whose first words are to warn you that he's likely going to ralph; the cat-lady who just can't bear the thought of sedating her 2 very loud felines for the duration of the flight; the middle-aged couple who take cell phone calls and leisurely stroll down the aisle of the plane while 30 rows of people behind them wait to unboard the plane; the 22-yr old child who needs his beauty sleep and forces an altercation with you on the plane. Yep, I was lucky enough to encounter all 5 situations on my round-trip to Phoenix last week (plus many more not worthy of blog space)! The most entertaining of which was The Altercation...

Whenever I board a plane, I take notice of my fellow passenger seated directly behind me. This person determines whether or not I attempt to recline my seat. When I recline, I'm only talking by a few degrees, not all the way back. But really, it's not like reclining your airplane seat makes the thing any more comfortable.

Well, the 22-yr old child (I'm being generous here), we'll call him Dumas, didn't bother to notice 5'9" me, sitting directly behind him. Dumas was a young man, traveling with his non-English speaking Chinese girlfriend, to the Valley of the Sun - a short 3.5 hour flight from Chicago. Dumas was also about 5'4" tall and maybe 100 pounds dripping wet. As soon as the plane began to level off, Dumas decided that he wanted to LAY IN MY LAP. I decided to be a little forgiving and refrained from constantly kneeing his seatback, but he still received quite a bit because there was NOWHERE FOR ME TO GO. In fact, reading my magazine proved a little difficult because I find it hard to focus when the words are only 3 inches from the tip of my nose... and that's about how close the top back of his seat was to my face.

Within 3-5 minutes of having an uninvited lap buddy, I notice that the air from my vent is hitting the top of his cowlick and he doesn't seem to be liking it very much. That made me smile. See, I personally don't enjoy the prospect of other people's germs entering my respiratory system, therefore I keep my vent turned up high, but aimed toward my lap so I don't dry out my eyeballs. (The air on a plane is completely recirculated and replaced every 2-3 minutes, and I believe the best way to get fresh air is through your vent.) Watching Dumas feel around the top of his head where he was being hit by my vent was sheer pleasure for me. If he had been upright, or less reclined, he would have been completely out of drafty range.

Meanwhile, I had received many sympathetic looks and quiet comments from my other fellow passengers, and even a moment of recognition from the Chinese girlfriend, that Dumas and his reclining seat were totally out of line. I leaned back into my fully upright seat and watched his Alfalfa cowlick blow in the wind. I was determined to make passive aggressive fun!

For awhile, I zoned out on my iPod and tried to ignore the fact that he was so close, I could smell his hair. About mid-flight, I noticed Dumas trying to get my attention, so I politely removed my earbuds.

Dumas: "Ma'am, I'm trying to sleep, and your air is bothering me."
Me: "Well, hmmm... maybe if you weren't so far reclined you wouldn't feel my air?" (posed as a true question to help him realize his rudeness)
Dumas: "But Ma'am, I'm trying to sleep."
Me: "And I'm trying to fit my knees behind your seat. See, you're so far reclined, you're laying in my lap, and that's the only reason you're able to feel my air."
Dumas: "But I'm trying to sleep!"
Me: (His need for beauty rest at noon affects me how??) "Like I said, you're laying in my lap. If you'd like to adjust your seat, I'd be willing to turn down my air."
Dumas: "I'm... I'm just trying to sleep."

At this point I shrugged my shoulders, and he could tell I wasn't going to cave in. Apparently that was THE LAST STRAW, so Dumas proceeded to press his flight attendant call button.

I. Am. Not. Kidding.

I'm not big on scenes, but this was one situation where I refused to back down... I knew I was right, and I had even offered to compromise, but Dumas really needed his beauty sleep. The really annoying flight attendant comes our way to see what's going on (here comes the part where I fell in love with her)... at this point, everyone around us is paying attention.

Dumas: "Miss, this lady won't adjust her air... it's blowing on me, and I'M TRYING TO SLEEP."

(Yeah, she was a "Miss" and I was a "Ma'am"... she had at least 20 years on me! Stupid child.)

Me: (I said not a word, but motioned at the sheer lack of space between my body and the back of his seat.)
Flight Attendant: "Well, sir... you are laying in her lap." (and walked away!)
Fellow Passengers: (They were clapping! No joke!)

Begrudgingly, Dumas lifted his seat slightly, but by the end of the flight he was fully reclined again. Nevertheless, I held up my end of the bargain and adjusted my air (but only by a minuscule amount). I ended up watching his cowlick dance again. I should have told him I wasn't paying for any lap dances.

Somehow, when it was time to unboard the plane, I was hit in the head by the overhead bin door. I glanced up to see who the offender was... Dumas. I told him he'd better just hurry and get off the plane. He looked kinda scared. That made me smile, too.

I'm sure Dumas got off the plane and whined to his friends and family on his MySpace page about the inconsiderate beeyotch behind him, because that's what 22-yr old children do. I think he's lucky I didn't act like this guy.

So, the moral of this story is the next time I fly, I'm going to have to get me some of these!