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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

#3 - A Yellow Bug

#3 of Aimgrrl's Top Three Worst Online Dates Ever happens to be my first ever face-to-face online date.

I don't remember all that much about him, other than he seemed like a nice enough guy, and I was trying really hard to keep myself OPEN to all possibilities. We probably chatted for a week or so online, and since he was local, I agreed to meet him for lunch.

Not to worry, I was smart about all of my online dating prospects. When it felt right to meet someone face-to-face for the first time, I always met them in a public place (they never were told where I lived), and usually during the day. I would also tell a good friend in town, usually Teresa, who I was meeting, where and when, so that if she didn't hear from me in several hours, she would know to worry. I also usually lined up a "get-out-of-jail-free" call (you know, where someone could call my cell, to "rescue" me if the date was going poorly) to occur about an hour into the date... just in case. My plan was to answer the call only if I needed rescuing, otherwise I would ignore it, and my friend would figure everything was fine. A girl must always have a Plan B in place!

We picked a restaurant in town, and the morning of the lunch date, he told me I would find him waiting in front of his car - a yellow bug. I really try not to judge others, but this should have been my first clue... no normal heterosexual male in his 30s would likely drive such a vehicle... at least not one I would be interested in.

With some apprehension in tow, I arrive at the restaurant and see a man leaning against a yellow bug. But this man looks nothing like the picture he had posted... unless he posted a picture that was at least 15 years old! This guy was easily 30 pounds heavier and significantly balding, than the guy in the picture that I thought I had been talking to. Initially, his appearance was not a total turn-off, but the fact that he had chosen to be dishonest about the way he looked was. A bit disappointed, we walked into the restaurant together.

Lunch was nothing to be excited about... the conversation was truly lacking. My rescue call came and went, but I figured I would be out of there in no time flat, so I didn't worry about it - and I was right.

About 70 minutes into the date, he takes an incoming call on his cell. I hear him say words like "Honey" and "Sweetie" and "What do you need me to pick up for dinner"... I pretty much just stared at him incredulously, and he mouthed to me that it was his WIFE. I just nodded and got up and left before he was even off his call. We never spoke again.

First of all, he WAS MARRIED.
Second of all, he lied about his appearance.
And finally, he drove a fruity car.


Poage Perspective said...

Ok, that has to be one of the worst dates I've ever heard. That's content for a comedy show! Can't wait for #2 and #1. Could it possibly get worse?

Scott said...

I too once had an altercation/date with a bug owner and I just couldn't get past it either.

Call me shallow. lol

Christy said...


In one of my classes last semester there was this obese lesbian that drove a yellow bug. It actually took me a few weeks to figure out that she was a lesbian and not a man.

Anonymous said...

LOL!! My first car was a yellow '72 bug. I only had it about 8 months but I was so happy to have it. I read all three at once. Unbelievable. All of them...


Aimee said...

I should clarify... it was a brand-spanking-new VW... and it was probably his wife's!

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