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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

#2 - An Officer, but Not a Gentleman

#2 of Aimgrrl's Top Three Worst Online Dates Ever was my brush with the law.

Mr. Occifer worked for the County Sheriff. He was divorced, but had no kids. He seemed nice enough, and had a sense of humor.

We kept things strictly online for several weeks... mostly due to his work schedule. I was trying to abide by the meeting in daylight rule of mine, so we waited for a Saturday he would have off to meet for lunch.

During any online period, after a time, I would agree to exchange last names with someone. Personally, I wanted to google what I could on the person, before I would agree to go out with them. This way, my friends would also be able to say, "She was last seen with so-and-so." In this case, he also wanted to run my name through the law enforcement database.

Much to both of our surprise, I apparently was hiding a big secret, and there was a warrant out for my arrest. (I know, Whiskey.Tango.Foxtrot.) My prospective date wouldn't give me any more details, just said that if we met up, he'd have to arrest me, because his job was to uphold the law (yeah, he took it all a little too seriously).

Fortunately for me, Karen's husband is an officer for SLCPD, so I had him also run my name to figure out what was going on. This wasn't one of those hunt you down to arrest you type warrants, thankfully... just a run-of-the-mill bench warrant. Which basically means that if I was pulled over by a cop, I'd have to produce bail on the spot, in cash, or they would haul me Downtown (really not that scary a prospect in Utah, but still an embarrassing one I wanted to avoid, nonetheless).

Months earlier, I had a ridiculous traffic ticket that at one point I wanted to contest before a judge. A court date was set, but about a month before, I decided it wouldn't be worth my time or energy. I called the clerk's office, paid my fine, and cancelled... or so I thought. Surprisingly, the Provo clerk's office isn't all that efficient, the court date came and went, and a bench warrant was issued in my name for failure to appear. Don't worry... several phone calls, and much yelling later, it was all cleared up.

Now I was finally worthy enough for Mr. Occifer to go out with me. We set a date, and agreed to meet in downtown SLC for lunch.

I arrived before him, and waited patiently outside the restaurant. A cop car pulled into the handicapped spot on the street in front of the restaurant, and he emerged in a ratty t-shirt and jeans... so classy on so many levels. Now, I understand that for his job, he's in a uniform every day, but for a first date, you'd at least want to show up in a collared shirt or an outfit less white trash (one would think). Parking in the handicapped spot - I realize he can get away with it, but still tacky.

Lunch was fine. Conversation was okay. He wasn't very nice to the wait staff, which bothered me - the service was fine, but he was rude. The check came, and he didn't leave a tip. Right then, I decided there would be no second date.

We walked out of the restaurant. We exchanged pleasantries, nice to have met you, he wanted to do it again sometime, etc. He asked where I was parked (around the corner, a block or so over), said okay, and climbed into his car. I was pretty much standing there as he drove away, a bit stunned. I know it was SLC in the middle of the day, but still... a gentleman should always at least walk the girl to her car, no matter how bad the date goes.

Mr. Occifer kept trying to talk to me after that... sent a couple of e-mails and left messages. I never answered my phone, but sent him a polite thanks, but no thanks, e-mail.

At least I got that warrant cleared up.


Christy said...

So many things wrong... so so many. Cops are one of the #1 divorced groups of people. He's pretty typical.

I HATE people who don't tip!

Poage Perspective said...

You can judge how nice a person is by how they treat waitstaff. I still think the #3 married guy date is best! Thanks for providing such good laughs at your expense. Can't wait for #1.

tiburon said...

Geez! Sooo glad you didn't go out with that loser again!

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