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Friday, June 06, 2008

"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

This is Redneck. He lives behind us. See Redneck mow his lawn. See Redneck mow his lawn for the 3rd time in 9 days. See Redneck mow his postage stamp sized lawn with a riding lawn mower. See Redneck get an obnoxious upper body workout trying to manuever the riding lawn mower around all of the crap in his yard. Redneck tried to mow his lawn once on a Saturday before 7:30am... (keyword = once.) See Redneck wear a muscle tee... he must not own any shirts with sleeves. Redneck likes to leave his barking dog outside for hours on end. Redneck likes to throw parties every weekend. Redneck loves to get drunk, play bean bag games, and yell outside about the White Sox game. We don't love Redneck, but I suppose we should try harder to.

4 comments:

Tiburon said...

Oh my gosh! I think I just peed. See Redneck make Tiburon pee. That is HYSTERICAL!

Suburban Hippie said...

I must admit, I've always wanted a ride on lawnmower... never bought one though because we never had a lawn big enough.

We had the weirdest neighbors ever a couple of years ago. They lived behind us - I say they but I mean he. It was a single guy living on his own. He had a baby paddle pool in his back yard and I would see him go back there occasionally to pour several different buckets of liquid into the pool and then he would go back inside. I thought it was all very mysterious. Why did he have a baby pool? Why did he pour this liquid into the pool instead of down the drain or onto the grass? What was the liquid? Where did it come from?

One day my sister and I tried jumping extra high on the trampoline so that we could get an extra good look into the pool... but we couldn't see. So my sister "accidentally" kicked a soccer ball over the fence so she could have a good look when she went to get the ball back. It just seemed like normal water... no smells or dead bodies or anything. He saw me watching him one day and very shortly after that he got a woman to move in with him. The pool was out and replaced by a loud dog and about 1,000,000,000,000 plants.... very mysterious... indeed.

Poage Perspective said...

At least Redneck likes to mow his lawn. Maybe you should invite Redneck over for dinner? hehehehe

Mindi said...

oh, that riding lawnmower, paired with the "armshower" is priceless!!!!
thanks for making me laugh!

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