Over the river and through the woods...

Ken Levine, an Emmy-winning writer, posted several helpful Thanksgiving Travel Tips on his blog. A few clever favorites:

* Leave for the airport NOW. Especially if your flight is on Wednesday.
* Bring no luggage. Wearing the same clothes for a week is a small price to pay.
* Southwest has no reserved seating. Get in one of the latter groups boarding. You don’t want to be one of the first to sit then watch as fifty people glance at the empty seat next to you, then to you, and decide to sit somewhere else.
* Those people in the Stand-By line – those are the same people who think they can get rich selling Amway products, and the Tooth Fairy really exists. Don’t fly Stand-By unless you like sleeping in airport terminals for five days.
* Air travelers: avoid O’Hare. Better to land in Dallas, even if your destination is Chicago.
* If you’re dropping someone off at the airport don’t even think you’ll be able to stop. Have your travelers practice the tuck and roll from a moving car. The first couple of times they’ll bounce but by the fourth or fifth try they should have it down.
* There’s more legroom in Exit rows. When the flight attendants ask if you are willing to help out in case of emergency just say yes. Like it’s going to make a big difference anyway if you crash.
* If you’re flying on an airline that doesn’t have reserved seating never sit next to anyone whose already eating or reading Ann Coulter.
* Put a big strip of duct tape on your luggage so you’ll recognize it easily. And it makes a nice fashion statement.
* Watch "PLANES, TRAINS, & AUTOMOBILES" again and think of it as a “best” case scenario.