In a galaxy far, far away...

This has to be the ultimate Christmas present this year! Should you ever find yourself lost in the galaxy, and wanting desperately to return home... or maybe you were taken against your will?

"In case of alien abduction, these dog tags may save your life. The crucial data an alien will need to get you back to Earth is die-stamped into these dog tags."

Don't worry, they do offer a full money-back guarantee:

"Should you ever be abducted by aliens while wearing Location Earth Dog Tags and not returned safely to Earth you will be entitled to a full refund of the purchase price."

(How exactly will you be able to collect on that refund?!?)

Hurry! Order your dog tags now!!